I was thinking about myself as

You live on the periphery of relationships, seeing others only as a means to an end. There are too many negative possibilities. The crux of it is that there is an inability to love — both to feel it and to give it.

I was thinking about myself as

These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

The person is only seeing things in absolutes — that if they fail at one thing, they must fail at all things.

I was thinking about myself as

Cognitive distortions are at the core of what many cognitive-behavioral and other kinds of therapists try and help a person learn to change in psychotherapy. By refuting the negative thinking over and over again, it will slowly diminish overtime and be automatically replaced by more rational, balanced thinking.

The Most Common Cognitive Distortions Inpsychologist Aaron Beck first proposed the theory behind cognitive distortions and in the s, David Burns was responsible for popularizing it with common names and examples for the distortions.

For instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted.

When a cognitive filter is applied, the person sees only the negative and ignores anything positive. A person with black-and-white thinking sees things only in extremes. Overgeneralization In this cognitive distortion, a person comes to a general conclusion based on a single incident or a single piece of evidence.

The Most Common Cognitive Distortions

If something bad happens just once, they expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat. For instance, if a student gets a poor grade on one paper in one semester, they conclude they are a horrible student and should quit school.

Jumping to Conclusions Without individuals saying so, a person who jumps to conclusions knows what another person is feeling and thinking — and exactly why they act the way they do. In particular, a person is able to determine how others are feeling toward the person, as though they could read their mind.

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Jumping to conclusions can also manifest itself as fortune-telling, where a person believes their entire future is pre-ordained whether it be in school, work, or romantic relationships. Another example involving fortune-telling is when a person may anticipate that things will turn out badly in their next relationship, and will feel convinced that their prediction is already an established fact, so why bother dating.

Catastrophizing When a person engages in catastrophizing, they expect disaster to strike, no matter what. This is also referred to as magnifying, and can also come out in its opposite behavior, minimizing. In this distortion, a person hears about a problem and uses what if questions e.

With practice, you can learn to answer each of these cognitive distortions.

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Personalization Personalization is a distortion where a person believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to them.

They literally take virtually everything personally, even when something is not meant in that way. A person who experiences this kind of thinking will also compare themselves to others, trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.

A person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the cause of some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for.

In the first, if we feel externally controlled, we see ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. Is it because of something I did? Blaming When a person engages in blaming, they hold other people responsible for their emotional pain.

They may also take the opposite track and instead blame themselves for every problem — even those clearly outside their own control. People who break the rules make a person following these should statements angry. They also feel guilty when they violate their own rules. The emotional consequence is guilt.

When a person directs should statements toward others, they often feel anger, frustration and resentment. If a person feels stupid and boring, then they must be stupid and boring.

Emotions are extremely strong in people, and can overrule our rational thoughts and reasoning. Fallacy of Change In the fallacy of change, a person expects that other people will change to suit them if they just pressure or cajole them enough.

A person needs to change people because their hopes for success and happiness seem to depend entirely on them. This distortion is often found in thinking around relationships.

For example, a girlfriend who tries to get her boyfriend to improve his appearance and manners, in the belief that this boyfriend is perfect in every other way and will make them happy if they only changed these few minor things. Global Labeling In global labeling also referred to as mislabelinga person generalizes one or two qualities into a negative global judgment about themselves or another person.

This is an extreme form of overgeneralizing. Instead of describing an error in context of a specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy universal label to themselves or others.

Always Being Right When a person engages in this distortion, they are continually putting other people on trial to prove that their own opinions and actions are the absolute correct ones.

This is a riff on the fallacy of fairness, because in a fair world, the people who work the hardest will get the largest reward. So now that you know what cognitive distortions are, how do you go about undoing them? The good news is that you can correct your irrational thinking, and we can help you do that with our next article which includes worksheets you can print out to help you.Jan 17,  · Pre-crastination is the urge to start a task immediately and finish it as soon as possible.

If you’re a serious pre-crastinator, progress is like oxygen and postponement is agony.

I was thinking about myself as

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Positive Things to Say to Myself